Beyond 495

From the militant wing of Team Hillary comes more pearl clutching from Joan Vennochi.

Best. Lede Ever.

BELIEVING JOHN McCain could beat Barack Obama now seems as ridiculous as believing the surge could work.

Or maybe at least as ridiculous that Vennochi could write a column (just one!) without slamming Barack Obama?

Hold on, it gets even better, and more than a little dismissive.

Wait, the surge did work - at least to the extent that Obama, America’s presumptive president, could travel to Iraq to promote his plan for phased withdrawal.

Despite that inconvenient truth, it is still hard to imagine McCain stopping destiny’s child.

Once again, Vennochi wants to beat Obama so badly that any stick or disingenuously worded column will do.

You didn’t think you could get out of this column without Vennochi mentioning Hillary, did you? Aaannnd, it looks like she’s still fighting the primary battle. Dude, that’s like so June.

It was a reminder of the days before the New Hampshire primary, when Obama rallies commanded all the buzz and Hillary Clinton’s town hall meetings were written off as too tiresome to endure. Is she really going to continue talking about healthcare? Yawn.

Wait, Clinton won the New Hampshire primary, buoyed by voters who cared about the issues and also believed she was the candidate most qualified to be commander in chief.

You’re bringing up New Hampshire? Seriously? You’re just making this easy for me.

Polling leading up to NH showed Obama in the lead — what’s the best way to peel off votes in a state where roughly 57% of the voters were women?

Well, you could cry, but I’m not in the group that thinks that bit of stagecraft had a large influence on the primary outcome.

Or you could lie about your opponent’s stand on a polarizing issue for women — say reproductive rights? Lie so much that your supporters switch allegiance? Who cares, about the truth right? You just need a couple of percentage points. (HRC won by less than three percent, right?) Yeah, that’s the ticket.

So save the “she won New Hampshire” bullshit. Or at least pick a state where she won without lying about Obama’s record, or didn’t use attack ads that could have easily have been produced by Republicans.

Look, we get it, Joan — you don’t like Barack Obama. You and the rest of the dead-enders in Team Hillary have a choice. You can either hold your nose and vote for “the Democrat” (which is what I would have done if Hillary had won the nomination) or you can keep undermining our best chance for Democrats to regain the White House, and set the agenda for our government and our country.

We know what Hillary’s choice is, because she understands what’s at stake here. Get us out of the quagmire of Iraq. Take the fight against the war on terror to where it’s really located: Afghanistan. Maintain some semblance of balance on the Supreme Court. Return to a nation that honors and upholds our constitution. Rebuild our economy that has been destroyed by cronyism, corporate over-influence, and lobbyists.

Or you can continue to carry water for McCain. Boy, that’ll sure show those mean Obama supporters, huh?

Since conceding, Hillary Rodham Clinton has been gracious, dignified and generous with her time and support for our presumptive Democratic candidate for President. There is a very small minority of Hillary supporters who could stand to take a cue from the woman herself. Yeah, I’m looking at you Hillaryis44 (Google it, I will not link to that garbage) - and no, I’m not holding my breath.

I understand how disappointing it is when your candidate loses. Hell, until Deval Patrick won, I had been on quite the losing streak. But at some point, you have to accept reality and move on. The primaries are over. We have our candidate. Vennochi needs to get off the PUMA train, stat. Stat means now*

*Office reference: Dwight Schrute/The Fire